Start: Begin by speaking to Gertrude at her house west of Varrock.
Skills: None!
Quests: Gertrude's Cat and Icthlarin's Little Helper.
What You Need:A Kitten or Cat, Amulet of Catspeak, Kwuarm, empty Vial, Red Spider Eggs, 4 pieces of Cheese, Ground Unicorn Horn, Marentill, Bucket of Milk, Pot, Weeds, Tinderbox, and 1,000gp.
Optional Items:Varrock, Falador, Lumbridge, and Ardougne teleports for easy traveling across RuneScape, a Ring of Dueling for easy access to the desert, an Enchanted Charos Ring for reduced magic carpet prices and the Snake Charmer, raw fish, SDTG (Standard Desert Traveling Gear, which includes desert robes, knife, and waterskins).
Quest-Obtainable Items: Rat Pole, Directions, Book, Rat Poison, Poisoned Cheese, cat anti-poison, Smoldering Pot, Music Scroll, and a Snake Charm.

 

Firstly, speak to Gertrude at her house just west of the city of Varrock. She will say hello and ask you what you need. Before long, Gertrude mentions that there are many hidden secrets about cats and catching rats. She talks about a whole underground, literally and not, society of rat catchers.

Grimesquit & Phingspet

The Varrock Sewers can be found just east of the Varrock Castle, next to some gallows. It is marked by a (!) icon. Climb down the manhole ladder and you will immediately notice two very odd women. They are none other than Grimesquit and Phingspet. They set a trend that will continue through each encounter with a rat catcher. A trend of an odd physical or personality trait that is hinted at by their name.

Grimesquit and Phingspet's names are pure gibberish, and so is what they say. Ask them to teach you about rat catching and they will giggle at you. They finally decide to give you a task to prove your worthiness of rat catching knowledge.

Use your "fuzzy", or kitten/cat, to catch eight rats. There are many rats scampering around you in the sewers so try to catch one by first right clicking your feline and selecting "Interact-with". Next, choose to "Chase-vermin" from the menu. You will egg your kitty on as it tries to nab a rodent.

 

Note: Overgrown cats are too fat and lazy to be able to catch rats. Cats have a much better chance of catching a rat than a kitten. Kittens have about a 15% chance, while the cat has an 85% chance.

 

You'll know when your kitty has caught eight rats when your character says, "Good job puss, we really showed those rats what for."

 

Grimesquit and Phingspet will giggle hysterically some more before handing you a rat catching tool. They will then tell you to see Jimmy the Dazzler in Ardougne and send word to Jimmy that you're coming.

Note: A rat pole is used to display rats that your kitty has caught. It can hold a maximum of six rats. It is also a two handed crush weapon.

 

Teleport or walk to the city of Ardougne and head west. Cross the bridge and go north around the castle. You will find Jimmy in a bar that is marked by the mini-game (*) symbol. Because the two sisters had sent word via "shady rat catcher express", Jimmy the Dazzler already knows you're coming and flashes his namesake pearly whites at you.

Ask him to teach you the marvelous art of rat catching like you did the sisters and he'll say he wants something in return, in keeping with his selfish, capitalist, "I'm so rich and I'm going to stay that way" persona. Ask him what you can do for him and he'll mention a job he has for you. It seems that a very wealthy client of his has a rat problem. In layman's terms, Jimmy's client's mansion is crawling with rats.

 

Another problem is that it would be highly embarrassing, at least from the client's point of view, if an exterminator were caught in the mansion. Impaling the rats with a sword or arrows would be too noisy and the mess would be hard to clean up so a cat comes in real handy.

 

Jimmy wants you and your "moggy" to pay a visit to his client's mansion and rat-o-cide those rodents. To make sure that you're not seen, he mentions a spell that will be cast on you. Before you are able to express hopes of an invisibility spell, Jimmy dashes them.

Jimmy hands you a set of directions for his client's mansion. To get to the mansion, whose location is apparently a secret, read the directions and choose to follow the directions to the house. While on your way there, make a mental note to never hire a guy who will give away the location of your house to complete strangers.

 

The Mansion - 007 Style

This part of the quest is arguably the hardest and most aggravating. You have to sneak around like James Bond in a mansion with guards that have an acute sense of smell and sight. Fortunately for you, being caught doesn't mean death. However, it does cause you to teleport a short distance away and start that part of the mansion-sneaking over again.

 

You arrive at the front gates. You are immediately welcomed by sight of fresh flower patches and shrubbery, and unfriendly guards that consider you an intruder. If you happen to be sighted by one, the spell will come into effect.

As you can see, the guard gets a part of his memory erased so he will forget he ever saw you and you will be teleported a short distance away.

Note: "A short distance away" is different as you progress, as it would hardly be fair to put you at the front gates if you're almost at the end. Until you're inside the mansion, the teleport spot is the front gates. Once you're on the second floor, it's the northernmost hedges. If you made it to the first floor, the teleport spot is the southeastern room.

 

As you can see, there are multiple minimaps for you to follow. They will help clarify the instructions. All the yellow dots are guards and guests, all who have a particular distaste for the likes of you. The position you should be in is marked by the white square.

 

First, look to the west. Wait for the guard who guards that aisle to move north. When he does, turn your move speed to "run" and dash for the Southwest Corner of the mansion grounds.

 

Wait for the guard just north of your position to go around the north end of the hedge and stop on the other side. When that happens, sprint to the Northwest Corner. When the coast is clear, run east until you are behind the hedges that are straight north of the mansion.

 

Pay attention to the guards on the north end of the grounds as well as the two that periodically appear on the 2nd floor balcony. As soon as guards on both sides are walking away from the center and are a good distance apart, run to the trellis and climb it. Make sure that you can't see any yellow dots on the second floor or you'll be caught the second you tumble over the railing.

 

Now that you're on the second floor, run to one of the flower pots on either side. This ensures that you'll stay out of the guards' view, as demonstrated in Figure D. You'll also notice that, if you get caught, you're teleported to a spot behind the northern central hedge instead of the front gates.

 

Wait for both guards to patrol south of the stairs and then take off for the 2nd Floor Northwestern Room, the one whose west side has been cut out of the minimap. There will be one rat there. Whip out your kitty and kill that rat.

You are given an option to add it to your rat pole. Although it is a good way to track how many rats you've killed (You need to kill six) and it's a very comical sight to see rats dangling by their tails from a pole, it's not absolutely necessary. The rat still counts as dead regardless of whether it's body is hanging from a pole or not.

 

Note: You cannot close doors in the mansion, only open them. Be sure not to stand in front of an open doorway for long periods of time lest a guard spot you.

 

Again, wait until both guards won't be able to see you running around before moving. The position they are in in Figure D is optimal. Another good opportunity for movement is when one of the guards is on the balcony and the other one is in the far southwest part of the 2nd floor. In either case, sprint down the hallway and into the 2nd Floor Northeast Room, where the white dot closest to the white square is. There are no rats to kill here, but it's an important "stepping stone" to the next target.

 

The next move takes a lot of patience. You must wait for one guard to be on the balcony and the other to be just south of the easternmost stairway. Any other arrangement of the guards is most likely going to result in them bellowing "Halt, thief!" when you start running. When said arrangement occurs, run to the 2nd Floor Southeast Area, where the white dot furthest from the white square is. I say area because the "room" has no doors. In this area, there are two rats to be caught. Again, unleash your furball on them.

Congratulations. Now if you're wondering why you deserve accolades, it's because the hard part of the mansion is over. From here on out, there will be no guards to disturb you from your glorious work. Climb down the ladder in the 2nd Floor Southeast Area. You will wind up in the 1st Floor Southeast Room, where the white square is. In there, you will find two rats whose whole lives have been dedicated to being caught by your kitty. Well... no, not really, but let your cat kill them anyways. It deserves it after having to put up with you.

I kid, of course. Moving on to the kitchen, which is just north of the 1st Floor Southeast Room, kill the sixth and final rat. If you've added each one to your pole, it now looks kind of crowded. Reminds me of a rat chandelier.

 

If you're caught now, by a guest or guard, you'll be teleported to the 1st Floor Southeast Room instead of outside. Sorry, Mr. or Mrs. "Let's-Get-Caught-On-Purpose-So-We-Get-Out-Easy". But speaking of teleporting, can't you just teleport out of there instead of weaving your way back out through a multitude of guards? Why yes, yes you can! Click that teleport circle icon, be it Varrock or Ardougne, with pride, knowing none of those guards that caught you can teleport away from their hellhole of a job.

Mosey on over back to Jimmy and receive a hearty, well-deserved congratulations.

Jimmy will proceed to tell you about the Ardougne Rat Pits, specially tuned for kittens. He will also hand you a book on the Rat Pits in general. When you inquire as to the leading authority on grown cats, Jimmy mentions a Hooknosed Jack . Jack can be found in the ghetto section of Varrock.

 

Hooknosed Jack

Jack can be found in the same area as Dimintheus from the Family Crest Quest. Or for those of you who aren't familiar with him, go to the fenced-in area that's a bit east of Aubury and his Rune shop. Refer to the Varrock city guide if you need more assistance in locating Hooknose Jack.

 

When you do finally meet up with him, you'll notice the crooked nose on his face indicated by his nickname. But don't stare at it, that's rude. Instead, ask him if he could instruct you on how best to catch rats. Jack's response to your query is almost as rude as you staring at his deformities. He flatly denies your request with a curt "I'm far too busy."

 

As experience has taught you, these rat catchers are more than willing to share their secrets if you offer to be their slave and do their chores. The chore Jack has set out for you is to clear a warehouse that is full of rats. In order to exterminate the rats, you will need more than just your pet kitty. It's time to bust out the arsenic, or poison, if you will.

Gather those items and hand them over to Jack. Kwuarm is an herb used in the Herblore skill to make weapon poisons. It can be farmed using the Farming skill, bought from players, or identified from an unidentified herb. An empty vial can be crafted using the Crafting skill, bought from a player, or bought from the owner of the Taverly herblore shop for 3 gp. Red spider eggs can be picked up in the deeper parts of the Varrock Sewers near the deadly red spiders and moss giants. Be sure to bring a knife or weapon with a "Slash" attack to hack through a spider web. After giving Jack all three ingredients, he'll make a batch of fresh rat poison for you, contained in a nondescript green bottle.

 

Travel to Draynor and pick up four pieces of cheese from a table near Aggie the witch. Alternatively, you could buy pieces of cheese from Wydin's Food Shop in Port Sarim for 4 gp a piece. Once you have all four pieces, use the rat poison on each one to make them into poisoned cheese. In case anybody was wondering what would happen if they tried to eat a piece of poisoned cheese, I nominated myself to be a guinea pig and test it out. Here's what happened.

So your character has some common sense after all, even if I or you, as a human, don't.

 

With four pieces of poisoned cheese, get ready to start doing Jack's menial task. The abandoned warehouse is just south of the bar which is just south of Jack. Maneuver around the crumbling walls in the dilapidated building and climb the lone ladder. You will find yourself on the second floor. Use a piece of poisoned cheese with each of the four rat holes in the second floor. Note Jack's cat, Pox, enjoying itself by randomly clawing at the rats.

Report back to Jack, but instead of a congratulations, you are greeted by a sad Jack who tells you that his cat Pox was poisoned from eating a rat that you poisoned. Resist telling him off for not taking care of his cat because he thinks the two sisters you met at the beginning were attractive. Instead, offer to help him out. Jack informs you that the Varrock Apothecary might know an antidote.

 

The Varrock Apothecary is located just southwest of the Town Center. It is marked by a purple vial icon. Walk in and speak to the Apothecary and tell him about Pox and ask if he knows an antidote. Turns out the Apothecary does and he needs a couple items to make it.

You can get a bucket of milk by milking a dairy cow found east of Lumbridge or near the farming allotments northwest of Draynor Village with a bucket in your inventory. Marentill is an herb used to make antipoisons. It can be grown from a Marentill seed, bought from players, or identified from an unidentified herb, just like Kwuarm. Ground unicorn horn can be obtained by using a pestle and mortar on a unicorn horn. Unicorn horns can be gotten from killing unicorns, like the ones that roam around near Barbarian Village. Once you have all three items, give them to the Apothecary and he'll make you an antidote to give to Jack.

Go back to Jack and give him the antidote for Pox. He informs you that there is still one rat who is seemingly immune to the poison, the meanest of them all. No matter how hard you try to wheedle your way out of it, Jack staunchly reminds you of your promise to rid the warehouse of all rats. Go back to the second floor of the warehouse and take notice of the small, boarded off room. Inside is the king rat. Use your kitten or cat on the hole in the wall and you'll be warned that, for some odd reason, the king rat can easily kill your beloved pet.

 

Whoever thought that a king rat had half a chance in hell against cats obviously never met mine. Below is solid evidence that my cat, who has ninja-like qualities, can kill a king rat in its sleep.

Okay, it's true, my boasts are exaggerated. The king rat is very dangerous for something that small. Your cat, or kitten especially, is in grave danger of going to kitty heaven. If you sense that your kitty's death is imminent, rush down the ladder and your kitty will be saved to live and fight another day.

 

Note: If you are an acute observer, you'd notice the "Use Raw Trout with Hole in a Wall" and the "You drop some supplies through the broken wall to help your cat". To keep your feline's health nice and high, use raw fish on the hole to heal your cat or kitten.

Once the king rat expires, go back to Hooknose Jack and he'll allow you access to the Varrock Rat Pits, made specifically for cats. He'll also refer you to a certain Smokin' Joe who lives in the dwarven city of Keldagrim.

 

Smokin' Joe

Before you hike over to Keldagrim, make sure to get yourself a pot, weeds, and a tinderbox. Yes, a pot, not the other kind of pot. And no, you're not obtaining these items to engage in the illegal inhalation of stimulants with Smokin' Joe, who, contrary to his name, is not a chain smoker. You can craft a pot using your crafting skill or buy one from most general stores. A clump of weeds can be obtained by raking an untended farming patch. A tinderbox can be bought from most general stores.

 

Once you have these items, there are three ways to get to Keldagrim. The most simple, down-to-earth, and time-tested method of transportation is your own two feet. You can hoof it to Keldagrim, whose main entrance is in a cave northeast of Rellekka. However, there are also train tracks that can take you to Keldagrim. Stations can be found in the Dwarven Underground Pass under White Wolf Mountain and in the Dwarven Mines northeast of Falador. A one way ticket to Keldagrim costs 150 gp. Once you arrive, Smokin' Joe can be found to the east of the mining shop in East Keldagrim.

Upon arrival and after the niceties, Smokin' Joe reveals the reason as to his nickname amid a large amount of hacking up mucus. Yuck.

He offers you his rat smoking device but one look inside is almost enough to make you abandon the quest altogether. Resist the urge to run away as fast as you can and offer to make your own. Stuff the weeds into the pot and light it with the tinderbox. You will end up with a smoldering pot. Use the smoldering pot on the rat hold and you'll see yourself unsuccessfully try to smoke out the rats.

 

Before you try again, be sure to wear your Amulet of Catspeak. When you use the smoldering pot on the rat hole again, your kitty chimes in with a good idea.

Try it the new way and kitty will run through the hole and gobble up the rats. Guess you won't have to feed it tonight...

Talk to Joe again and he hacks and coughs his way through a congratulations. Joe also tells you about the Keldagrim Rat Pits under the Laughing Miner pub nearby. He directs you to your fifth and final waypoint, "The Face," in Port Sarim.

 

"The Face"

After making sure you don't need smoke inhalation treatment from the last task, head over to Port Sarim where "The Face" awaits you. Her name is contrary to her actual physical appearance - she almost seems to have no face at all! But remember, it's rude to stare. "The Face" isn't really a rat catcher and refers you to the real one you've come to visit.

Climb down the manhole and into the rat pits of Port Sarim. Inside, you'll find Felkrash, a poet who does know it. She also managed to wipe out an entire population of rats in one single great act. She wants you to recreate her famous act so she can write a poem about it.

You're going to need some help on this one. Head back up the ladder and speak to the "The Face." Ask her how Felkrash managed to do the impossible and be sure to comment on her radiant looks to convince her to spill the beans. Crossed fingers behind your back might be required to maintain sanity. "The Face" will inform you that Felkrash charmed the rats into drowning themselves in a very long and boring sermon. You gather that you should go talk to the Snake Charmer in Pollnivneach.

 

The Pied Piper of RuneScape

Time to go journeying in the desert! Pack up your SDTG, which can all be bought from Shantay in the Shantay Pass. After making sure you aren't holding anything in your right hand, take a magic carpet ride to Pollnivneach. You could walk there, but the carpet prices are quite affordable and you'd get eaten by angry desert camels the locals have affectionately named "Ugthankies".

 

Note: The base price of a one-way ride on a carpet is 200 gp. If you have finished the Rogue Trader mini-game, the carpet ride will only cost 100 gp. You can further lower the price to 75 gp by exercising some mind control over the Rug Merchant using an enchanted Ring of Charos, obtained during the Garden of Tranquility quest.

 

Go to the southern end of Pollnivneach. and you will see a man sitting on the ground while charming a snake, hence, the Snake Charmer. He will ignore you completely until you use some money on his money pot (It will add 2 gp in). His eyes will light up because he absolutely adores gold. Ask him about charming animals and mention Felkrash. He expresses disdain towards Felkrash for using his methods to kill animals. Protest that rats are scum and offer to pay him. His morals will vanish instantly as his eyes gleam again.

 

Unfortunately, he asks for 1 gp more than you have, no matter how much you have on you. For example, if you have 1,000 gp, he'll ask for 1,001 gp. If you bring 1,000,000,000 gp, the Snake Charmer will ask for 1,000,000,001 gp. Say you won't pay that and walk away slowly. He'll change his mind and change his demand to 100 gp. Pay that and he'll give you a Snake Charm and a Music Scroll.

 

Note: If you have an enchanted Ring of Charos, you can immediately "persuade" him to accept 50 gp.

What I was wondering was why you couldn't just use a bucket of dung in the first place? Rats would go for that just as much as some hypnotic tune. Guess it's because you'd pass out from the stench.

 

Drowning the Rats

Head back to Port Sarim with your newly-received Snake Charm and Music Scroll. Stand next to the manhole and play the exact tune prescribed by the scroll. The number of holes that need to be covered on each page is random for each person. Notice the "Raise Octave" button at the top of the flute options. You need to select that on page 5.

Once you've reached page 8, the last page, select play. Sayonara, rats!

Head back to Felkrash, tell her about your accomplishment, and... Quest Complete!

Rewards
Rat Pole
Snake Charm - an interactive musical instrument.
Access to the Rat Pits Mini-Game
New Wiley and Lazy Cats
4,500 Thieving Experience
2 Quest Points

 

Wiley cats can be obtained from an overgrown cat when you talk to Felkrash. Just ask her if she can train your cat. Wiley cats catch rats even more often than normal cats and can also catch butterflies and little Kalphite buggers. Unfortunately, if you let your wiley cat stay idle for too long, it'll become lazy. Felkrash explains that letting a wiley cat go lazy is a sign of a bad cat trainer. You can retrain the lazy cat into a wiley cat by taking it hunting again.

 

You also have the option of naming your cat. I named mine "Tarja" after Tarja Turunen (The ex-lead singer of the band Nightwish).